Look at the stars

Behind Blue Eyes

AN: This is a one shot dedicated to Yelena (leedssex) for her birthday, which is today. So everyone head over there and give her proper love. I planned on turning this into two parts, but since this is a little late anyways I figured I’d just give you the whole thing. First time writing smut so be warned it could be awful.

YELENA I AM SORRY IF THIS TURNED OUT TO BE SUCH SHIT. I don’t know how I got to this it’s really all over the place but I LOVE YOU so I hope you don’t hate it too much xo.


SUMMARY: Louis is a homophobic teenager, bullying younger kids to cover up the fact that he has a deep, dark secret. 


Louis watched Zayn, smirking as he shoved a frightened looking freshman up against the lockers. His name was Leo, or Liam maybe, he wasn’t sure, but it was the same kid they had caught snogging a little blonde boy in the hall earlier. 

It was after school hours now, and nearly everyone had left the building. Louis and Zayn were sneaking their usual smoke break in the bathroom when the boy walked in for a piss.

At the sight of him, the image of his shameless PDA flashed fresh in Louis’s mind, sparking flames of anger inside his body, and he decided he needed to be taught a lesson. That maybe if they roughed him up a little, he wouldn’t be so quick to stick his tongue down his boyfriend’s throat. 

Especially so Louis could see it. 

So they stuck his head in the toilet, gave him a black eye, and Louis wasn’t sure how he managed it but he escaped the two of them and ran down the hallway. Stupid move on his part, they caught up not long after and — well now they were just having a proper good time. 

“Do you think kissing boys is funny?” Zayn leered in the boys ear, slamming him against the cool metal. “You think we wanna see that shit?” He bought up his knee and shoved it into the boy’s stomach, making him cry out in pain before he crumpled to the floor. 

“Niall!” the boy choked out, calling out for someone, anyone to help him. 

“You disgust me,” Zayn snarled, and spit in the boy’s face. 

Louis laughed at the scene softly, pleased with Zayn’s work, proud of himself for shaping him into such a perfect, mindless soldier. Zayn did whatever Louis wanted him to.

Like this, for example. Beating up on kids younger than them gave them both a sick thrill, ten fold if they were gay. 

Because being gay was wrong, if Louis had been taught anything in life it was that. So even though the small freshman lay at Zayn’s feet, having lost any ability to fight back, it wasn’t enough. 

It was Louis’s turn now. 

He started walking towards the crumpled figure on the ground, when an all too familiar cold voice stopped him in his tracks.

“Leave him alone.”

From the shadows of an empty classroom, Louis watched as a tall boy walked threateningly towards them, his hands balled into fists at his sides. 

Fear and shame temporarily gripped his insides like a fist of ice, filling him up and spilling over. He wondered how it wasn’t obvious to everyone else, he was sure it was running out of every orifice, plain and clear for everyone to see. Only one person could ever make him feel like this, this all consuming nameless emotion, everything bad in the world balled into one feeling.

Harry was the last person he wanted to see. Now, or ever. 

“Piss off, Styles,” Louis growled, body now alive like an electric current.

Harry narrowed his eyes, coming closer to lean over the boy on the ground. 

“You okay, Liam?” he asked softly. “Can you walk?”

Any trace of anger had disappeared, and he only spoke in gentle tones, something that stirred something confusing and unwelcome inside of Louis.

Liam nodded weakly, and Harry wiped away the spit from his face and cleared the blood from his forehead before taking his hand to help him stand. 

After putting Liam’s arm around his shoulder, he turned towards Louis and spoke.

“If I ever see either of you doing this again, I’ll fight you myself.”

With a final look of disgust towards Zayn, Harry turned away and helped Liam limp down the hall.

Zayn stepped forward, undoubtedly to stop the pair and make sure neither of them could walk, but Louis stopped him.

“Don’t,” he warned. “I’ll take care of it tomorrow.”

Zayn smirked, seemingly satisfied. 

A half hour later, Louis held a blonde boy down on the bathroom floor, brows furrowed in concentration as he tried to burn a mark into his skin with his lit cigarette. Zayn had left him behind shortly after Harry left, leaving Louis to vandalize the school walls. What he found instead was much more entertaining.

“Keep still, faggot,” he seethed, holding his palm down on Niall’s face so he could access his neck. He siphoned the cries and pleas coming from the writhing mass underneath him, and he let them feed his ego, his rage, everything that was tainted inside of him.

“What’s wrong kid,” he crooned into his ear. “I thought you liked boys on top of you.”

“Stop it, please stop!” he cried. It was a helpless scream, wet tears and dry sobs, no one around but Louis to hear them.

“Why? Am I not your type?” Louis growled, bucking his hips violently against Niall on the last word. 

“Please,” he wimpered. “Please stop, just let me go!” His body heaved with sobs of pain and fear, so small and helpless under Louis’s weight. 

“Let you go? But why? I thought we were having fun!”

Niall kicked his feet, screaming, begging to be released. 

Louis refused to let it affect him, refused to feel sorry for him. Niall was so pathetic, and it angered him. He should be stronger. He should fight back. He should want this, this type of male contact. Why didn’t he want this? Why didn’t anyone want him?

“IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME?!” He screamed, grabbing Niall by the shoulders and shaking him roughly so his head hit the tile of the floor. “AM I NOT GOOD EN-“

Louis was suddenly lifted off of Niall and slammed into the bathroom wall, the still wet paint from his earlier crime rubbing off on his face and his sides, smearing the nasty words down the tile. Stars erupted behind his eyes as pain thundered through his skull, causing his vision to go temporarily black.

He barely heard Niall scamper to his feet before he ran out the door, leaving him alone with the person who had shown up in his nightmares nearly every night for the past year.

When he opened his eyes, a mask of rage was all that towered above him, and it was all he saw before he was grabbed by the collar and thrown roughly out into the hall.

“Get up, you filth,” Harry seethed, stalking towards him where he lie on the ground. 

Louis’s head whipped back and fourth to search the hallways, hoping that someone was around to stop this. It was the exact opposite feeling that he felt when he was torturing people, and even though he knew he didn’t deserve it, he wished someone would come to his rescue.

But there was no one around.

“GET UP,” Harry screamed, now towering above him. Before he had time to move, Harry wound his hand back and delivered a swift blow, right to Louis’s left jaw. 

An embarrassing cry of pain left his mouth before he could stop it, and he tackled Harry to the ground, landing blind punches wherever he could. Harry rolled on top of him and they wrestled, both trying to get one another to stay still while trying to inflict the most amount of pain they could at the same time. 

Louis managed to gain the upperhand again, and rolled so Harry was underneath him. The position hit too close to home, filling his head with a never ending stream of images, the same ones that plagued his nightmares every night. Images strikingly similar to this one, always involving Harry, always touching Harry, always being with Harry…

He hadn’t even realized that Harry was now on top of him, wondering breifly how it had happened when he was just doing so well.

Another blow to the face, causing him to go slack. 

He could taste the blood on his tongue, and when he went to wipe it from his lips, Harry grabbed his hand.

“Wanna know what I think,” Harry asked, breathing heavily in his face.

He held Louis’s hands above his head now, tight enough so that he couldn’t escape, though he kept trying.

“I think,” he continued “that the reason you beat up all these kids, is because you’re scared.” 

Louis squirmed under his weight, twisting his head to the side so he wasn’t forced under the glare of the green eyes that hated him so much. 

He bucked his hips trying to throw Harry off of him, but was met with his groin, and after that stopped trying to move. It was useless anyways, he may have been older by four years but Harry was admittedly bigger and stronger. 

“Get the fuck off of me, you little queer,” he hissed, still not meeting his eyes. He resisted the urge to spit his blood in his face. 

Harry chuckled darkly, unfazed. “You’re pathetic,” he whispered. “I’ve seen the way you look at me, did you know that? You may have everyone else in this place fooled, but not me.” 

Louis turned his head, finding it safe to look at Harry, the fire in his eyes matching his own now. It was okay that Harry hated him, because in this moment, he hated him more. 

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he spoke through his teeth, barely controlling his fury. He moved his hands again with more force this time, but only grew more angry when he failed to free himself. A maniacal growl tore through his throat, and if he could kill with his gaze, Harry would have been lifeless on the floor. 

“You’re not going anywhere, until you admit it.”

Louis grew panicked, breaths coming faster as his eyes roamed quickly back and fourth between Harry’s. 

“SAY IT!” Harry screamed, slamming Louis’s hands on the ground. “Tell me that you’re a scared, lonely, pathetic excuse for a human being, praying on boys much smaller than you because you can’t stand the thought that you might be attracted to-“

Louis bought his head up with as much force as he could muster, smashing his forhead to Harry’s. 

With a yell, Harry freed Louis’s hands and rolled over, clutching at his face as his nose ran a stream of blood down his shirt. 

Louis clumsily got to his feet, backing away from the scene with wide eyes before turning and running down the hall. He flung himself into the first open door he could find and slammed it shut, quickly pushing desks against the door to baracade himself in. He tried to ignore how foolish it was to do so, knowing it would only buy him a small amount of time until Harry would undoubtedly force his way through, the end result being that much worse. 

There was a loud thump against the door, and the desks rattled. Louis winced, wishing there was a window in the classroom he could escape from. 

Harry let out a cry of rage, slamming himself into the door again and again, the desks giving way a little bit more each time.


He watched, helpless as the desks slowly but surely cleared from the door, and with one final push, Harry stumbled into the classroom, breathing heavily, glaring at Louis.

He stood still, chest heaving, blood dripping from his face, and used the back of his hand to smear it away.

“You broke my nose,” he stated, voice low and full of menace.

“Pity,” Louis spat. “Hate to ruin such a pretty face.”

Louis knew that Harry’s nose wasn’t broken, he’d been hit enough times at home to know the difference. But he let him believe it, knowing he’d only walk away from this with a few bruises at the most.

Harry glowered back, but said nothing.

He walked towards Louis slowly, flipping desks over that were in his way, and Louis could do nothing but back up against the wall until there was no where left to go. He tried as hard as he could to fake calm, to act like he wasn’t afraid, to give off an air that he could take Harry, even if he was bigger than him. In reality he was torn between staying where he was, a sick desire to let Harry beat him to a pulp raging with the obvious need to run away. 

Too late now anyways, Harry was directly in front of him. Even if he wanted to run at this point, there was no where he could go where Harry couldn’t find him. In this school, in his thoughts, in his dreams…

He could almost feel the heat from Harry’s burning hatred, permeating from every pore in his body. He grabbed Louis by the face with one large hand, squeezing his chin roughly, his fingers undoubtedly leaving bruises in their wake. 

“What did I say about hurting my friends” he asked coldly.

Louis refused to show him that he was at all afraid, refused to admit to himself the thrill he was riding on just because Harry was touching him, touching him but not laying into him just yet. 

“You said,” he began, and was incredibly thankful that his voice did not waver. “That you would fight me.”

Harry nodded, green eyes not leaving blue. “Have you had enough yet?”

Louis had had enough. His head was throbbing, his mouth was bleeding, and he could feel the bruises beginning to form all over his body from where Harry had punched him over, and over again. Not to mention the fact that he was nearly terrified of what Harry was going to do to him, now that he had injured him and ran away. But of course he could never let him know that.

He would never let him know how afraid of him he was, in more ways than one. 

“No,” he whispered instead.

Harry smirked, a chilling, predatory expression that didn’t belong on the face of someone as beatutiful as he was. “For once I agree with you, Tomlinson” he replied. 

Louis yanked his face out of Harry’s grip and massaged his jaw, glaring at him all the while. He had little time to react before Harry reered back and threw his fist, aiming for his face. 

He ducked at the last minute, and chuckled when he heard Harry’s fist connect to the wall where he was just standing. Harry roared in pain, clutching his hand, and Louis took advantage of the moment to grab him by the waist and throw him down to the ground. 

He got up and tried to make a run for it, but was caught by the ankle and fell back down. Harry dragged him by the foot, bringing him closer, and Louis kicked out of his grip and scrambled to his feet.

Then Harry was running at him again, shoving him against the chalk board. 

Stop.Trying.To run.From me.” Harry growled.

“Fuck you Harry,” He spit out.

"You’d like that wouldn’t you," Harry sneered.

Louis froze, and his breath hitched.

"What did you just say to me?"

Harry glared back at him, brows furrowed, hands on either of Louis’s shoulders.

"You’re such a coward Louis," he said. "I’ve been watching you for an entire year now, and you’re in this twisted pit of denial that I’m not sure you’ll ever get out of."

Louis’s skin grew colder with every word, and he clenched his fingers to stop them from trembling.

"You don’t know anything about me," he muttered.

"I do," Harry insisted, letting go of him. "And it all disgusts me."

He turned away and walked towards the door, kicking a desk out of his way with more force than necessary.

Louis stared after him, mouth agape.

"I thought you were going to kill me," he shouted after a minute.

Harry turned, eyebrows raised, appraising Louis for a moment before he said, “You’re not even worth it.”

With a shrug, he walked out the door.

Louis ran after him.

"I’m not a coward," he called down the hall. He didn’t expect Harry to believe him, he didn’t sound very convincing himself. 

But yet, Harry stilled and turned back around.

Louis watched as he strode towards him, eyes widening in surprise as Harry shucked off his t-shirt and threw it on the floor in the hall. 

"Prove it to me," Harry growled, shoving Louis by the shoulders.

"What are yo-"

"Prove it!" Harry yelled, shoving him again. "Prove to me you’re not a coward. You want to beat up on guys that are smaller than you, just because they’re gay?" He jabbed Louis in the ribs before he even knew what hit him. 

"All because you can’t come to term with the fact that you’re just like them.”

"I’m not a coward!" Louis yelled, not fighting back, not having the energy to deny Harry’s words anymore.


He pointed to his cheek, patting it with his finger.

"Hit me Louis, knock me out since you’re such a big, strong guy."

Louis didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to hit Harry anymore.

He wanted-

He wanted to kiss Harry. 

He wanted to kiss him until his mouth was just as bruised as his own, until they couldn’t breathe anything but each others air, until he couldn’t differentiate Harry’s blood from his own. He wanted to show Harry that he wasn’t afraid.

"I’m not a coward," he said again, and surged forward, smashing his lips against the ones he had dreamt about so long. 

Harry’s hands tangled in Louis’s hair, pulling his face away. Louis was certain that a punch was what was going to follow, but Harry only smirked and muttered a husky prove it to me before connecting their lips once more. 

Louis growled against his mouth, nails raking down Harry’s naked back, pulling him closer. His hand slid around Harry’s waist, and he cupped him through his pants, palming his growing erection. 

His mouth traveled down Harry’s jaw line, just a light brush of lips until he reached his ear and ran his tongue along the outside of it. “You want me to prove it to you?” He growled lowly into his ear, tightening his hold on Harry’s pants.

"Show me," Harry whispered. "Fucking coward.

Louis shoved Harry away, and his back landed against the teachers desk at the front of the classroom. Lips found lips again, hungrier this time.

"You’re going to regret that," Louis mumbled against him, sucking Harry’s bottom lip into his mouth, biting down on it none too gently. Harry moaned low in his throat and reached for the hem of Louis’s shirt, breaking contact momentarily to rip it off of him. Breathing heavily, they looked one another over before Harry muttered a "God I hope so,” connecting his lips to Louis’s again. 

Harry’s hands tugged at Louis’s hair, and Louis bit back a moan as his own hands traveled down Harry’s torso, going for the button of his jeans. Once unfastened he pulled them down, trailing rough kisses down Harry’s neck, his collarbones, his chest, trailing his tongue down his stomach, down to the elastic of his underwear. On his knees, he looked up at the boy he had wanted for so long, the only person who had ever told him he wasn’t wrong for being who he was. And he really wanted to please him.

While Harry watched him, pupils blown so wide with lust that there was barely any green left, Louis traced his tongue along Harry’s erection through the fabric, relishing in the moan that tore through Harry’s throat as he tilted his head back. 

Louis wanted him, God he wanted him so badly it hurt. But what he wanted even more was to show Harry that he wasn’t afraid. 

He swallowed, overwhelmed and nervous that he wasn’t going to be any good. But he promised himself that he would try.

Tucking his fingers under the elastic of Harry’s underwear, he pulled them down, coming face to face with Harry’s dick. 

Before he had time to think of what to do next, Harry’s hand came down and grabbed a fist full of his hair, forcing Louis to look up at him. 

"Show me," he whispered again, and forced Louis down on him.

He nearly gagged, but shortly started a rhythm of bobbing up and down, with Harry’s help, before Harry’s knees started shaking and he had to let go of Louis’s hair to grip the sides of the desk. 

Fuck, Lou,” Harry moaned, causing Louis to moan back around his dick, increasing his tempo, using his hand to stroke what his mouth couldn’t fit.

"Unngg fuck - you sure you haven’t - fuck - done this before?”

Louis didn’t respond, but let Harry’s praise fill his confidence and he sucked him off until Harry warned him he was going to cum. 

"Move Lou," he warned, bucking his hips into Louis’s mouth.

Louis didn’t move.

"Lou i’m gonna fucking cum," he growled. 

When he tried to push Louis off of him, Louis grabbed his ass and pushed him deeper down his throat, taking him so far in that his nose reached Harry’s pubic hair.

Harry came with a strangled cry, spilling hot spurts down Louis’s throat, who swallowed everything he had to give him, albeit with wide, surprised eyes. When he was done, Louis took his tongue and traced it up Harry’s shaft, causing him to shudder before grabbing Louis by the hair again and hauling him up to his lips. 

He pushed Harry back until he was lying on the desk, and crawled on top of him, hovering over his body. 

"I want you," he whispered into his ear.

His hand traveled down to Harry’s dick, which was growing hard again as he lazily stroked it, staring into his eyes.

"Take me," Harry whispered back, and put his hands behind Louis’s neck to bring him in for a kiss. 

A kiss that quickly turned rough, all tongue and bruised lips, as Harry unbuckled Louis’s jeans and desperately tried to pull them off. 

Somehow they managed, moaning into each other’s mouths as their naked bodies collided, causing friction against their throbbing cocks, their pre-cum sliding over each other until they were a, hot, sticky mess of limbs.

"Fuck me," Harry moaned out, bucking his hips into Louis’s.

Louis growled into Harry’s neck, and bit down on him hard, sucking a mark into his skin before he turned Harry over, sliding up against him so his dick slid between his cheeks. 

"Do it," Harry growled, and Louis spit in his hand, lathering up his cock, bending Harry over in front of him. 

"Do you want me," Louis asked, voice raw with lust.

"I want you," Harry replied, sounding equally as fucked out. 

Louis positioned himself so the tip of his dick was at Harry’s entrance, and he slowly pushed in, nearly cumming on the spot at the sound of the yes that Harry hissed out. 

He waited until Harry nodded consent and pushed in further, dragging his nails down Harry’s back as he went in all the way. 

Harry was so tight, so tight and so hot all around him that he didn’t want to move again for fear that he would spill inside of him. 

But it felt too good not to, and he grabbed Harry by the hips, rocking into him, thrust after thrust, reaching up to grab Harry by the curls to hold on. 

"God Louis, harder, fuck me harder,” he begged, and Louis growled, pounding into him with harder, more deliberate thrusts. 

"So good," Harry moaned. "So fucking good Lou, God-“

"Jesus Harry i’m gonna fucking cum if you don’t shutup," Louis growled.

"I’m so close," Harry panted, and Louis reached around him to pump him furiously with increased thrusts, whispering cum for me baby into his ear until he felt Harry burst over his hand, warm liquid spurting over his fist and the desk they were on top of. 

Louis couldn’t hold it any longer, and he screamed Harry’s name as he came inside of him, leaning over his back, slowly riding out his high while he held him tight. 

"Louis?" Harry mumbled a while later, still in the same position they ended things in.

"Mmm?" he didn’t have the energy to reply properly, too spent to really speak, or move at all really.

"Think you could get off of me? Kinda suffocating over here."

Louis chuckled and slowly pulled out of Harry, wincing at the cold that hit him as he left.

Harry sat up, his legs hanging over the desk they sat on top of, watching Louis with a somber expression.

Louis got to his feet and pried Harry’s naked legs apart, standing between them to look down at the beautiful, sweaty, shining boy he loved and hated all at one time.

Leaning down, he pressed his lips to Harry’s softly once, and then another.

"Thank you," he whispered, closing his eyes. "Thank you for saving me."

"From what?" Harry wondered aloud.

"From myself," Louis replied, touching his forehead to Harry’s. 

Harry reached up and cupped Louis’s face between his hands, waiting until he opened his eyes again to look at him.

"You’re welcome, Lou" he whispered softly, bringing him in for another kiss.  

posted 2 years ago
#one direction fan fiction   #Larry Stylinson   #larry stylinson fanfiction   #larry one shot   #harry styles   #louis tomlinson   #Zayn Malik   #liam payne   #Niall Horan  
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